Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
