Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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