that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Let's paint friendship bongs
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
