and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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