i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
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Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
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you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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