Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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