hotel room ftw
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
