Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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