Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
