Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
