remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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