Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
