i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
