I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
