When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
