Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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