guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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