We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
