I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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