you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
