just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
