But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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