I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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