I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
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