Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
