I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You were trust falling into bushes
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
