So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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