Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
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Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
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Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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