We're facebook friends in real life
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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