:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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