Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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