I skipped work to stalk him.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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