no, he came in my armpit
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
