oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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