This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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