It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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