Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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