yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My liver just had a heart attack.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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