is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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