Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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