Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
