I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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