if you like me you must not know who I am
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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