if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
