So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i will never coherently bang her
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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