Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
