Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
