No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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