I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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