I think i peed on brittanys purse
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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