No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
