I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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