She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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