I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
