I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
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