i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
