I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
