Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
we made out on top of his cat.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
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He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
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Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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