He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
