i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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