the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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