You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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