No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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