Sponge bath it is.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
